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Author Topic: Pub Joke Thread  (Read 52161 times)
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RAZZ-MCFC
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« Reply #555 on: February 27, 2012, 08:21:43 PM »

GOAL! Arsenal 6-2 Tottenham ( 90 +23 Hours )

Charlie Adam with a lovely finish from 12 miles away.

Saw this one before  Grin

Some right belters flying around about Adam's pen today.
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« Reply #555 on: February 27, 2012, 08:21:43 PM »

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Gavin
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« Reply #556 on: February 27, 2012, 11:06:32 PM »

I'm not saying that my Irish mate is stupid, but I fell asleep at a recent house party and woke up to find him drawing a forehead on my cock.
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Bonters
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« Reply #557 on: March 02, 2012, 08:39:33 PM »

I'll never forget the day I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me.  I was so excited, I could hardly speak.  It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was, beside me.  I said, 'Get that f***ing trolley over here, they're doing three cases of beer for the price of two!'
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Tuco
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'When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.' Tuco


« Reply #558 on: March 02, 2012, 10:22:41 PM »

 Grin Grin
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HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #559 on: March 05, 2012, 07:12:02 PM »

Sloths. They're just monkeys with Down's Syndrome.
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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #560 on: March 06, 2012, 02:11:30 PM »

What's better than winning gold at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded!
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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #561 on: March 08, 2012, 06:55:44 PM »

I dropped a bottle of ketchup today

I was covered from my head tomatoes
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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #562 on: March 09, 2012, 05:15:42 PM »

ah crap ive to do my hair for a Rastafarian party tomorrow. I'm dreading it

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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
Bonters
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« Reply #563 on: March 21, 2012, 08:53:16 PM »

Got myself one of those anti-bullying wrist bands this morning
Got it off some little fat ginger twat wearing glasses
« Last Edit: March 21, 2012, 08:56:21 PM by Bonters » Logged
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« Reply #564 on: March 23, 2012, 09:40:06 AM »

Police raided Kermit's lily pad last night & found hundreds of naked pictures of Miss Piggy. They said it was the worst case of frogs porn they'd ever seen...
(Ok, I'll get me coat  Grin)
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bud01
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Michel Thomas, done basic Ni Hon, Russian now.


« Reply #565 on: March 23, 2012, 08:49:44 PM »

what do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming in a swimming pool

A clever dick.
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HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #566 on: March 23, 2012, 09:28:37 PM »

Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together" said Fabrice.
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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
HurricaneHig
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Any two will do?


« Reply #567 on: March 28, 2012, 07:54:06 PM »

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/526006_3631469950244_1379004988_33396311_336092204_n.jpg



 Grin
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Adversity and the 'big occasion' doesn't change a fighter - it only reveals them.
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WWW
« Reply #568 on: March 29, 2012, 03:48:55 PM »

2 drunks visit a brothel. The Madam takes a look at them & says to her manager, "Go put inflatable dolls in 2 bedrooms. These guys are too drunk to notice." During the walk home, one guy says "I think my girl was dead. She never moved or made a sound" The 2nd guy says,"I think mine was a witch""Why do you think that" asks his friend. "Well, I bit her arse, she farted in my face and then flew out of the f***ing window
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justicia...
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« Reply #569 on: March 29, 2012, 03:50:03 PM »

Mick said to Paddy "Close ur curtains the next time ur shaggin ur wife!"

"Why?" says Paddy. "Because yesterday u were shaggin her and the whole street was out watching and laughing at u!"

"Well," says paddy "The jokes on them cos, i wasn't even home yesterday!!"
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justicia...
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